She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
