Your dad touched me again.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
