I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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