i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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