Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
