dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
