its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
