If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
