I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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