i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
