Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
