Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
