Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
