have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
