I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
