...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
