The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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