so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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