He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
