I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
