No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
