I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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