I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
