You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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