The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
