in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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