Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
