1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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