i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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