Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
