id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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