Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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