It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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