I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
