I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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