Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry audi2013 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

Fav 7 2954 718
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

Fav 51 6889 1420
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

Fav 22 5439 939
share tweet
(434): View more from Virginia

do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming

Fav 6 3516 1058
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

Fav 2 1675 2592
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

We left an ass print on the piano.

Fav 23 4272 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

Fav 3 2728 1170
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?

Fav 8 736 1726
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.

Fav 1 89 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT