Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
