Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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