Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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