Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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