He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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