That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
