I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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