even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
