from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
