you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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