Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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