God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
