Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
