You work out of a Hotel?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
